


they're just boys

by thisisashittyusername



Category: Left 4 Dead (Video Games)
Genre: ... but i had to set up the exposition /context first..., M/M, Nellis, and well... i just kept fucking rambling. i hate it., bro i aint know, bro i dont even fucking know, i just wanted to make a fanfic about nellis following the kind-of narrative of 'girls' by the 1975, i projected myself pretty hard on to nick here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:13:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22100017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisisashittyusername/pseuds/thisisashittyusername
Summary: maybe the older man needs a little more convincing
Relationships: Ellis/Nick (Left 4 Dead)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	they're just boys

**Author's Note:**

> y'all ever feel like you wanna fuck someone who's technically of legal age but acts so much younger than their age and it kind of freaks you out how you'd be the one taking their innocence / virginity away because they deserve so much more than your slimy ass? yeah

Nick wonders if his decision to level his emotionality with Ellis that one time was a bad idea. After all, the kid was already a handful on his own; having the kid follow him around all seemingly lovestruck and enamored was… something else entirely. Something Nick, for all his arrogance, would probably admit to not being equipped to handle.

It had started with Nick seeing the kid in another light. He was annoying as all fuck, of course, but it was a given he had come to accept almost immediately after meeting him. What came later, though, was the appreciation for Ellis’ skills in battle, and, though Nick might loathe to admit it, his appreciation for Ellis’ optimism and carefree attitude that had kept the group morale somewhat high despite how long they’ve been killing zombies.

Maybe it was how flexible and accepting the Southerner seemed to be with everything that came his way, or the disarming, boyish charm to him, or the fact that Ellis was starting to get to him _in a good, ‘i-care-about-you’_ way, but little by little Nick had the crazy idea in his head that should he invite Ellis to do certain _things_ , the boy would be game.

Okay, yes, it was a crazy thought, Nick knew, but it wouldn’t have even been a considerable thought if Rochelle, the only living woman alive in the next 100 miles, or possibly the entire _state,_ hadn’t rejected his advances. And maybe, yes, not being able to release some Steam was getting to his head. So if homosexual practices was suddenly on the table, he only had Rochelle to blame. Besides, Nick liked to believe was a resourceful man- he would make do with what he can.

And something told him Ellis would’ve been down for anything.

It’s a little jolting realization even Nick hasn’t come to wholly accept- that he’s actually considering _fucking Ellis_ \- and honestly, it shakes him up more than he expects. The guy’s probably just a kid at heart- he seems more like an overgrown child, he’s probably never even made out properly with a girl before. He curses the zombie invasion for happening- if it didn’t, he could be fucking a bimbo in some fancy hotel room in Vegas right now, not contemplating on his chances with the mechanic who, in all honesty and in all begrudgingness, Nick can describe as _pretty_. He looks down at his pants and curses _himself_ , too- if he weren’t so fucking pent-up, he would’ve lived the rest of his zombie-infested existence as an ascetic monk who didn’t have to find some use for his dick.

“Whirlybird,” he can remember in his mind in Ellis’ voice, and this time Nick really has to groan his frustration out.

_He was just a kid._

So the next time Ellis gets too close, Nick actually moves away from him. He catches the slight frown that grows on the other’s face, but looks away before it bothers him any more. He tries to keep his distance- tries to push away when Ellis unintentionally backs himself neatly into Nick’s front while shooting at a Jockey, and gets the others to patch Ellis up even when he’s the closest First Aid pack to him. It’s stupid, really- this wasn’t the Nick he was, who was content with taking everything for his personal gain and never minding the people he hurt in the process. In fact, that was exactly the guy he was with Rochelle and Coach, but to a lesser degree.

There was just something about Ellis that made Nick so much more restrained. Maybe he was just starting to understand how young Ellis was, at least how young he _acted_ , and being a douche to him was like taking candy from a baby. Nick was a douchebag but he wasn’t that heartless.

And if Nick just happened to want to fuck Ellis into the carpet of the next Safe House- well, there was that to feel guilty about, too. The kid was 23, yes, technically, an adult- but something about him was so childlike. He deserved to have experienced something with someone more his level, not have to settle for some conman who would fuck anything that moved. ( _Okay, that joke was funny back then, but probably not something he’d brag about during the zombie invasion._ )

Ellis notices, of course- not the _‘I-want-to-fuck-you-until-you-scream’_ thing, but the avoidance skit, and it doesn’t sit well with him at all. It makes him keep getting into Nick’s space, asking Nick questions he tries to play off as nonchalant but fails, with the “Are you mad at me?” and “So I see you had Ro patch me up, but the First Aid was in your possession…” Nick would appreciate if Ellis could keep his hands to himself during those times, but it’s like the kid’s _asking_ to be pushed against a wall and have something be done to him. Of course, Nick tries to dismissively wave Ellis off, doing his best not to stuck his tongue down the kid’s throat in the process, but hey, what can Nick say? The kid looks good worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, the picture of anxiety.

Of course, Ellis just gets all mopey and whiny. Nick can take that. What he can’t take is the kid getting all distracted. He’s been pounced on, spat on, vomited on, and ridden ( _fuck you, Jockey, if I can restrain myself, so should you, you mutated piece of infected shit_ ) more times than he has fingers to count, and it’s wearing Nick off. He tells Ellis to get his head in the fucking game, or else he’d be left behind, but the threat just has Ellis sulking even more. It’s when the Tank grabs him, pummels him into the ground, and he starts screaming Nick’s name in a tone vastly more panicked and afraid and desperate than Nick’s fantasies that Nick finally has enough.

“Are you actually _trying_ to kill yourself?!” Nick had shouted at Ellis, as Rochelle pulled the mechanic up.

“There, there, up you go,” Rochelle had cooed to him in a semblance of comfort, but Nick had snapped at her too.

“No, no, you don’t get to baby the _idiot_ of the team right now, mother hen,” he says to her, and Ro scowls at him, ready to retort. Coach, trying his best to be the leader-slash-mediator, lays a hand on her back and leads her away. “He’s just biting at you like the ass he is, but he’s got a point, little sister. Just let them…”

Once their voices have trailed away, Nick sets his eyes on Ellis, ready to rip him a new one. Ellis, for what it’s worth, folds into himself. “What is going on with you, _huh_? You just didn’t happen to see the Tank, let alone _feel_ the fucking earth shaking underneath you? You have your head in the clouds, I might as well shoot you _right now_ if you want to die that badly!”

Ellis pretends to rub at the bruise on his cheek, standing in place awkwardly. “I…” he starts, and his mouth closes and opens again before he continues. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to… get everyone so worried ‘bout me.”

“’ _Worried about you’_?!” Nick screams again, and the hand Ellis has on his face gets higher and starts rubbing at his eye. “That’s what you’re saying sorry for? That we’re _‘worried’?_ That I’m screaming at you right now?! You stupid fuck, you could have died!”

“I didn’t think you cared that much, Nick,” Ellis says, and though he tries to smile and play it off as a joke, he’s got his sight focused at his feet and his hand still rubbing at one eye. “Thought you were all but done ready to leave me behind.”

The sheer surrender in Ellis voice makes Nick want to punch him, or hug him, or kiss him, and it fucking annoys him how messy his reactions toward Ellis have become. He bites his fist in restraint, trying so hard to let the moment pass.

“Is this what everything’s been about?” Nick asks, incredulous, pushing his fingers against his temple, as if in actual, physical pain. Of course, it was Nick’s fault for not considering how someone as emotional as Ellis would not leave something behind, just because Nick told him to. “Because _you think I’ve_ been _ignoring_ you and shit?”

When Ellis nods with that dumb expression on his face, as if being ignored was such a troublesome concept for him to handle, Nick actually groans. He’s half tempted to just convince Ellis he was imagining the whole thing- that he wasn’t _actually_ being ignored- but for everything Ellis seemed to lack about formal knowledge, he made up for in both practical and social intelligence. Nick would give him that, at least.

“Fine. You want to know so bad?” he says, and Ellis nods again, actually stepping closer to him. Nick tries to keep his cool, despite losing it so many times already that day, and grits his words out. “I have been… ignoring you… because…”

He really has no way of saying it without sounding like the sleaze he feels he is.

“Well, I ain’t got all day,” Ellis says, trying to carry the tone of annoyance but it falls short. Nick feels like the mechanic’s just excited to hear what reason’s good enough to keep the older man away, and knowing Ellis, he’d find a way to fix it, being the _good boy_ he is and all that. It was annoying so much as it was fucking endearing in the stupid way Ellis always was, in everything he did, somehow.

“You’re such a child,” Nick sighs, and he finds that in the most summarized way, that was exactly the reason Ellis wanted to hear. “That’s exactly it. I’m a douche bag and you’re an overgrown man child with some uncharacteristic love for cars and guns. We don’t exactly mix.”

“Whaddya mean, ‘we don’t mix’? The hell’ve we been doin’ all this time?” Ellis looks a little flabbergasted, almost angry with disbelief. “You never had to pull your punches back then, what’s so different now?”

_I want to ream your ass but I haven’t and have deigned to not because I respect that you’re probably too young in the head to consider otherwise and I wouldn’t want to feel like a fucking creep making the moves on you, especially during a fucking zombie invasion, _was probably too long and too honest of a response than Nick was willing to give.

“Let’s just say I’m seeing you different,” is what he settles with.

“Different.” Ellis repeats. “Huh. How’s different?”

“Just ‘different’.” Nick snaps.

“Well, _shoot_ , that’s just the type of answer that’s gonna get me pummeled to the ground next time,” Ellis jokes, and by the way his shoulders sag, Nick knows Ellis is at least a little relieved with what path this conversation is taking. He bites his tongue from making an unnecessary joke about _Ellis being pummeled to the ground_ , even if the restraint is already so uncharacteristic for someone so selfish and used to taking.

He knows Ellis is right, though, in the back of his head. Nick just trying to ignore and sweep everything under the rug when Ellis is asking for answers would just make the kid sulky and sad and distracted again, and God only knows how much they should be avoid that.

“Okay, fine,” Nick relents. “Different in a good way.”

Ellis considers this for a moment. “It really ain’t gonna make any damn sense ‘less you got some context to give me.”

The sassiness gets to Nick. How dare Ellis act like he has the upperhand (which, really, he does) and get so smug about it? “Maybe I wanna fuck you into next week,” he says, in a mocking tone, mostly to spite Ellis and wipe that haughty look on his face.

And it really does work, for a second, right until Ellis’ face breaks into a grin. “Alrighty.”

“What-” Nick manages to get out, before he sputters in outright confusion. “’ _Alrighty’_? That’s- That’s it? You-”

“What’s the big idea? We’re both adults, you want it, I want it-”

“ _You_ want it?”

Ellis’ grin splits even wider, and in the back of Nick’s head, he remembers Ellis still needs some First Aid. He grabs the pack from his back and forces them both to kneel, wrapping the gauze around the other man’s arms and legs. The motions are automatic enough, which let his brain think everything over.

“You’re… you don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nick says, as he’s biting the gauze off the roll. “Have you ever even fucked anyone before?” he stops for a moment to look at Ellis.

“Well,” the other starts, and Nick can almost see the cogs turning in his head. “I’m a fast learner.”

“Okay, no.” he says, and he fixes a look at Ellis before the younger can begin complaining. “No.”


End file.
